[notathoughtgiven]

So by trying define a norm for a category we invite the herd mentality. That people want to be seen as the norm so they will try to fit into it or enforce it on other people in the category. Which in time erases individuality and is replaced by the herd mentality.

But if instead we see it as variations or a spectrum of possibilities within the category without a norm then individuality remains intact. If someone comes along that is different it is nothing unusual. Just one of the possibilities on the spectrum.

[notathoughtgiven]

So by trying define a norm for a category we invite the herd mentality. That people want to be seen as the norm so they will try to fit into it or enforce it on other people in the category. Which in time erases individuality and is replaced by the herd mentality.

But if instead we see it as variations or a spectrum of possibilities within the category without a norm then individuality remains intact. If someone comes along that is different it is nothing unusual. Just one of the possibilities on the spectrum.

[notathoughtgiven]

So by trying define a norm for a category we invite the herd mentality. That people want to be seen as the norm so they will try to fit into it or enforce it on other people in the category. Which in time erases individuality and is replaced by the herd mentality.

But if instead we see it as variations or a spectrum of possibilities within the category without a norm then individuality remains intact. If someone comes along that is different it is nothing unusual. Just one of the possibilities on the spectrum.

[notathoughtgiven]

So by trying define a norm for a category we invite the herd mentality. That people want to be seen as the norm so they will try to fit into it or enforce it on other people in the category. Which in time erases individuality and is replaced by the herd mentality.

But if instead we see it as variations or a spectrum of possibilities within the category without a norm then individuality remains intact. If someone comes along that is different it is nothing unusual. Just one of the possibilities on the spectrum.

[notathoughtgiven]

So by trying define a norm for a category we invite the herd mentality. That people want to be seen as the norm so they will try to fit into it or enforce it on other people in the category. Which in time erases individuality and is replaced by the herd mentality.

But if instead we see it as variations or a spectrum of possibilities within the category without a norm then individuality remains intact. If someone comes along that is different it is nothing unusual. Just one of the possibilities on the spectrum.

[notathoughtgiven]

There are times when we could say we are in a band or pack, rather than a herd. Packs and bands allow for more indviduality, but can essentially turn into herds once the heirarchy becomes fixed.

Which is something I have seen plenty of times. People are united by a common goal or aspect so they form a pack. But at some point a strong leader or way of thinking starts to dominate and the pack becomes a herd. They end up being the thing they detested in the first place.

[notathoughtgiven]

I think it’s fair to say that pornography does give men, especially young men and boys, a wrong impression of sex in general and certainly does add to domination,

I would agree with that. Certainly gave me the wrong impression growing up about sex. But I really didn’t have anything else to dispute that in my life at the time.

I guess one has to draw a line between art and porn though at some point.

Maybe its the distinctions that are the problem. If its two people engaging in sexual act then its porn. While some people only call it porn if it is about domination and if its done as an expression of the act then its art.

While I don’t see any problem among consenting adults, I think I have the same grind with this type of ‘liberation’ as being similar to the Cosmopolitan ideal of woman, which may be promoting a kind of street wise version form of woman, but can also be regarded as being for the male gaze and in that sense, it still adds to unequal gender relations.

Yes I agree. If it is just about being for the male gaze then it does nothing about the unequal gender relations. Women are still bowing to men and what they want instead of doing it for themselves and what they want.

As Dworkin was a radical feminist, I think she was in the mind of active solutions that don’t beat about the bush and so she isolated porn as a major exploitation of women and was against it for precisely that reason – radical feminists are the backbone of feminism to me, they carry the true spirit of the first wave.

Not only active solutions but solutions that worked. Like shifting the focus of what pornography was from being obscenity to being about civil rights was a way to make changes that worked. To make it equal for everyone. In that way I agree with you. Radical feminists are the backbone indeed.

[notathoughtgiven]

Thank you for taking the time to let me know. I am thinking then the Foucault Reader would be a good book for me to start with.

[notathoughtgiven]

Well this is a thread that could go on for a while, because to me solitude can take many forums.  One doesn’t necessarily have to be physical alone to achieve solitude.  But mental solitude is good.

For me human beings tend to group together around a common thing.  That we tend to seek out people like ourselves.  Which is good to a point because their is understanding between like minded people and safety in numbers.  The only problem is that we tend to stay with that group.  We like the company of people like us.  But it leads to stagnation.

For one thing we are not challenged at all.  If the people in our group are like us then more often than not they will agree with us.  If there is agreement all the time there is no reason to examine our ideals and in the process learn and grow as individual.  We just stay same all old thing.

But the other bad thing about being around people like ourselves is that we start seeing the universe in polarized manner.  We don’t have anyone or anything to contradict our view so we start believing our view is the right one.  Even to the point of thinking that anyone that thinks different is wrong and should be “corrected” to see the same way as the group.

So we need solitude to grow and balance ourselves.  That doesn’t necessarily mean we are alone in the physical but maybe more in the mental sense.  To go out and be a part of a group that is not like us.  To stand alone in that group to the challenges and views the group may have.  So that we can have a different perspective that will allow us to grow and learn from those challenges and views.  But also have a more encompassing view of the universe because we take in that groups view and merge it with our own.

But we do need to be part of the group that is like us.  We can only take so much in the way challenges and different points of view that we start doubt our own self.  That we need the company of people like us to show us we are not alone and if anything a rest from the challenges.  To get our mental strength back.

I think the problem is that most people choose the company almost exclusively.  Some because of fear of what is outside the group.  But also because we are human beings and have a tendency to be lazy.  That we have the desire to least amount of work mentally and physically.  So being in the group is being lazy because we don’t have to work at defending our ideas and views.

So I think for the individual to grow and keep growing they need to find the balance between the solitude and the company.  The balance that works best for them.

[notathoughtgiven]

@notathoughtgiven What are your thoughts on Andrea Dworkin?

I haven’t read a lot about her works. I do know her for her stand that pornography was about rape and domination of women. Which it can be that. But I find that too simplistic to say all pornography is about rape and domination of women. I like her stance about bring pornography to task on civil rights instead of obscenity. If there are people that want to see sexual acts and their are people willing to act it out then I see no problem. But when it involves putting someone else down and force without their consent well that is wrong.

[notathoughtgiven]

In a heartbeat I would do it. For me the biggest part of dysphoria is not being able to be pregnant. It is something I want with every fiber of my being.

One of the reasons that decided for me not to physical transition at all. What is the point. Doesn’t matter if I look like a woman or not, I still cannot be pregnant therefore I will still have dysphoria. So I had to find ways to channel that maternal instinct into something better than hating my body. Which I have accomplished with some success. At least enough to take the edge off the dysphoria.

[notathoughtgiven]

What did you think of the books?

That is something I really need to do again. The last few months have been really busy and I haven’t read anything in a while 🙁 So very interested in hearing your opinion for some new books for myself to read 🙂

[notathoughtgiven]

Solitude is neccessary if one wants to become an individual, but we form our identity out of exclusion and rejection, rather than through inclusion and desire, we are not subjects, we are dejects

That we need solitude to be ourselves, but too much is not good either. That in a way we have to find a balance between solitude and socialization?

[notathoughtgiven]

That is the absurd thing I’m wrestling with, what people think they know about me versus who I am. I need other people’s help and support in overcoming it as a trans woman, too.

It is like I am in a room and everyone is shouting at me. Telling me who I am. Drowning out the one voice that could really tell me. That is myself.

If anything it would be nice if those people where encouraging me to find out who I am or just be quiet so I could hear the voice better.

[notathoughtgiven]

1. Command

[spoiler]Give[/spoiler]

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